The Bearded Truth

February 26, 2010 at 4:38 pm (Uncategorized)

When I was a young child I was waiting for the day when I would get to shave. Soon after that day came, I realized how much shaving sucks. A man has to spend a good deal of money on razor blades only to get in-grown hairs, razor burn, and a baby face in return. Why do so many men buy into this bullshit? Well, simply put, because they are slaves.

Many historians will point to Alexander “the Great” as the man who really started the whole fad. He required his soldiers to shave off their beards with the explicit reason being that their enemies would not be able to grab them in close combat. I know how unpleasant it is to shave even with four-bladed razors, but imagine how much worse it would have been in the days of yore.

These same policies have been introduced by military rulers of the world time and again. In the 20th century the reason was that a gas mask could not be properly fit over the face unless there is a clean shaven face, allowing for a tight seal.

There’s more to the story than the safety of the soldiers. Sure, that’s part of it, but I think one of the main reasons can be found in the word “infantry” itself. In order to turn good humans into vicious killers, the military reverts them back to an infantile state so that they can be properly programmed. The shaving of the face and head also makes everyone “equal” and kills individuality.

The power structures of this world want to control how people look, as this has a very important impact on how they act. Westerners would like to think that they have progressed to a more liberated society, but this is something of an illusion. I see people spending a good deal of money on different kinds of fashions, but rarely do I see young, bearded men. Many argue that they cannot grow beards because they would not be able to get or keep a job with one. This makes them wage slaves.

Men are also slaves to something else that naturally sports a beard. These men seem to think that they would not be able to attract women with a hairy face as most women these days are conditioned to want a clean-shaven, smooth, chiseled man like in the Gillette advertisements. However, these are not the quality women one should be looking to attract. Additionally, even if women do not consciously like the idea of a beard, I would argue that many are actually attracted to a man that looks like a man. Let me provide you with a famous example..

Who would ever cast a vote for the guy in the “before” picture? He looks like a tool. But now look at the confidence and authority exuded by the man on the right. Supposedly I am related to Lincoln, but I consider him something of a fascist. In any event, the following is an excerpt from an 11 year old girl named Grace Bedell who was likely the cause of Lincoln’s growing a beard:

..I have got 4 brother’s and part of them will vote for you any way and if you let your whiskers grow I will try and get the rest of them to vote for you you would look a great deal better for your face is so thin. All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husband’s to vote for you and then you would be President..

The letter was sent on October 15th. The smart politician quickly replied on the 19th:

My dear little Miss
Your very agreeable letter of the 15th is received – I regret the necessity of saying I have no daughters – I have three sons – one seventeen, one nine, and one seven years of age – They, with their mother, constitute my whole family – As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now?

Your very sincere well wisher
A. Lincoln

Well, the rest is history. Lincoln grew his beard and he went on to be one of the most recognized presidents, credited with preserving the Union and freeing the slaves. If you do not find Lincoln to be a great man, perhaps you might like his opponent, Mr. Robert E. Lee, who sported an even greater beard and was asked by Lincoln to lead his army, which he refused. Bearded men have something of a rebellious streak.

I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge, never fearing to follow truth and reason to whatever results they led, and bearding every authority which stood in their way. – Thomas Jefferson, meaning: to oppose bravely. TJ didn’t have a beard.

Although I and many others consider it to be a good look, the beard has also been grown in protest over the years. Monks and priests who have come into conflict with the established religions have often vented their anger and frustration by growing a large beard. The larger the beard, the greater the protest. Perhaps they are also taking a note from their image of Jesus, known to wear a pretty decent beard.

In the 60s and 70s, the beard and long hair made a resurgence as the hippie movement rippled out across society and free-thinkers roamed the country. Recently we had people like Conan O’Brien and David Letterman grow beards in order to stand with their writers in solidarity during their strike. They quickly shaved them off after coming back to television, which indicates just how unacceptable and ridiculous a beard is meant to seem in today’s society.

Bearded men are meant to seem insane, irrational, dangerous, and completely out of the ordinary. This could have something to do with the fact that the media is heavily promoting idea of the American terrorist. And just like in the Middle East, these “homegrown” terrorists will likely have beards. Let’s explore this concept a bit further by looking back in time..

Theodore Kaczynski was a child prodigy. He was accepted to Harvard at the age of 16 and then went on to get his PhD in Mathematics from the University of Michigan. He became an assistant professor at Berkeley at the age of 25. He resigned two years later. Teddy found many things wrong with society and the direction in which it was heading. He moved to Montana, taught himself survival skills, and became self-sufficient. In order to get his message out he engaged in acts of terrorism, mailing bombs to various addresses across the country. The FBI had an almost impossible time tracking down the culprit as the man was a genius. He said he would stop engaging in terrorism if the New York Times would print his manifesto, which they did. It was Teddy’s brother who recognized his writing and led the authorities to their man.

What is often left out of this whole story is that Teddy was involved in some very disturbing experiments during his time at Harvard. Some suggest he was a CIA mind control subject. This would fit right in with the film Shutter Island, which deals with Nazi mind control experiments, and the stories Christopher Knowles was telling me about Amy Bishop (another Harvard grad), Braintree, and the Boston area.

It is terrible what the sociopaths at the top of this society have chosen to do with its most brilliant people. Perhaps the problem is also that when someone is smart enough to see past the illusions and lies, they can no longer go back to being part of such a corrupted, terrible system. I would bet there is a correlation between intelligence and whether or not someone has a beard.

It could be that I’m just “crazy,” but I’m fairly certain the beard is also related to magical powers.

Merlin by Rick Wademan

Gandalf, Odin, Christian God, Zeus, and so many other magical men are always shown having beards. Even the real-life examples of truly magical people like Rasputin had very long beards. It makes sense that as more of you grows into this world, so does your connection to it.

The beard is also something of a Jedi mind-trick. When everyone else is clean shaven, a man with a beard sticks out. He is a unique individual who cares not for what others might have to say about the hair he grows on his face. It is his face, after all.  A man with a beard is not a slave and he is assuredly not a boy.

Aragorn grows his beard at the end of The Return of the King because he has become king. He does not bow to any man.

If you are a man, I suggest you do the same. If you are a woman, I suggest you convince the men around you to become the men that nature intended for them to be.

I say all of this, but if I was living in a society that required men to have beards, I would probably be telling you all to shave. In all honesty, I think you should do whatever it is that you want. Just be free.



  1. Jon Kidd said,

    Very interesting read indeed.

    I have a couple friends who feel very strongly about this subject.

    In my line of work its required on most jobs to be clean shaven as it presents a couple safety hazards. But this last job Ive been on has given me the opportunity to grow it out. Ive gotten bugged about it in a round about way from a number of people but it doesn’t bother me anymore.

    Let nature take its course! Maybe there is some kind of physiological effect to cutting it?

    I think of it as the roots of a tree, or lighting bolts or the natural cracking of geological formations.

    Samson’s cutting of his hair removed his super strength etc…

    But this shaving business is just like circumcision IMO. Another thing to separate us from our existence as human beings. I mean it must effect genetics cause allot of men I know can’t even grow ‘proper’ beards, myself included. A full beard on my face would be patchy and unappealing. But my partner likes the goatee and my children are accustomed to it as well.

  2. James Ratte said,

    great read … akin to foreskin … The Merovingian Kings knew the beards gave them their source of power … they are our whiskers / our tendrils into the astral field … cutting beards is a part of the Masonic androgynous agenda … beards signify male, but also bond other males together which hamper artificially created dissension

  3. Psychegram said,

    Here here, let’s hear it for the beards!

    I’ve always abhorred shaving. Except for when I was required to shave by the military, I’ve sported one … first a goatee, then a Lincoln/Amish/Leprechaun kind of thing (depending on who you asked), now just a pair of wicked burns that go right down to my bare chin. The full beard has never been my thing but … someday, no doubt, I shall go for a the wizard look.

    Your background is in tech, yeah? So it won’t have escaped you that Gates and Jobs – the two sides of the techie Hegelian dialectic – are clean-shaven, whereas ‘Free as in Beer’ Stallman sports a full-on Gandalf.

    A final thought: body hair. Had an ex who kept bugging me to get my back lasered clean. I refused, of course. Why should I lose the pelt nature graced me with? I can’t stand the metrosexuals who shave their chests. How effeminate (of course, hypocrite that I am I rather prefer women to shave their limbs … though I’ve no problem with those who let their own beard grow wild 😉 At any rate the same girlfriend convinced me to shave my beard one day … and I felt very much like the Samson Jon mentions.

    Oh! And what about Muslims? Perhaps their predilection for long, thick beards is yet one more reason (on top of their refusenik stance on usury) to conquer them?


    ps Check out the new URL … you may like.

  4. andy christ said,

    i cant really grow facial hair, always making my appeal to ladies high! hah… i know that my side of thinking will start a cafeteria riot in the school of thought in my mind. hah..

  5. Kevindra said,

    I love beards, and always looked forward to having a big boutniful beard, they definatly archetypically represent wisdom, time, surrender(to the flow of hair) and age, along with many things of course, great look into the Logos of the Hair. The Hermit Tarot card also communicates this same flow. Looking forwward to paging through here and catching up. Love the podcast man, be very well 🙂 Namaste

  6. celticrebel said,

    Don’t really have much to contribute to this line of thinking, except this:

    10 Reasons to Grow A Gaint Beard

  7. seazlaurel said,

    My friend was told when he began the Medical Sales business that his facial hair was quote “a career limiting move”. Although I can never have a beard as a woman, I do look forward to my long hair turning white at an older age. Our culture has an obsession with looking young instead of embracing our age as an achievement. Beards do have a magical sense to them, I feel the same way about the a long white hair of an old witch. Embrace it!

  8. Jim J. said,

    That’s funny… I found this page through a google image search for Alexander the Great and just happened to get done shaving. I wasn’t even looking for anything on shaving. What a coincidence. Furthermore, I’m supposedly a descendant of Alexander.. I guess you can kind of see it in my nose, lol.

  9. subha said,

    actually i like beards that is suitable for only a few persons but the youngester shold be a clean shaven thah is give a smart look for them

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